1. Finding a comfortable reading position is a never-ending quest. Chair or bed? Side or back? In a box? With a fox? Never a problem, you can read anywhere!
2. On airplanes, you hesitantly flick on the overhead light while everyone else is napping. Too true.
3. Paper cuts may look like minor injuries, but the pain can be excruciating. Owie!
4. Walking and reading at the same time requires hand-eye coordination only professional athletes have been endowed with. I do try.
5. What on earth are you supposed to do with the jacket on a hardcover while you’re reading it? Keep it on and risk damaging it? Take it off and store it in a weird nook, never to find it again? My husband puts them under the bed.
6. Deciding what to read is a choice that presents you with an embarrassment of riches. Ah, hundreds of hand selected books by favorite authors to choose from 🙂
7. The typeface and page length of a book can seriously impact your reading experience, sometimes for the worse (sans-serif font is a huge no-no). I don’t care about this at all.
8. A book can be composed of the worst drivel you’ve ever laid eyes on, you’re still afflicted with major guilt when you banish it to the “I Will Never Ever Ever Finish This. Like, Ever.” shelf. I do feel guilty especially if the author is personally likeable.
9. You lament time that you’ve wasted in the past; all of those hours scouring celebrity Twitters could have been put towards finally reading Moby Dick! I WILL read it someday, though his shorter fiction sets my teeth on edge.
10. Some people count down the minutes until their lunch hour; you count down the minutes until Jeffery Eugenides or Donna Tartt releases their next book (roughly 5 million for Tartt, but who’s counting?!) Let’s try some other authors and then say yes to this.
11. Finishing a book you loved is like saying goodbye to a good friend. You’ve been through so much together! And while you may see each other again, it won’t be quite the same. This is a reason to read books in series because you do get to return to the characters and worlds you love.
12. Forget finding roommates; the most stressful thing about moving is figuring out a way to transport boxes upon boxes of heavy books. I actually moved from one state to another “before I got too old to carry my books”.
13. You’re constantly rethinking your bookshelf strategy. Should you color-coordinate, or take a more practical approach, such as publication date or alphabetization? Or, if you’re feeling ambitious, should you tackle the autobiographical bookshelf, à la Rob Gordon from High Fidelity? Nah I just squeeze them in though I daydream of putting them all in author title order.
14. Your mood is directly impacted by the mood of the book that you’re reading; your friends have learned to avoid you during Dostoyevsky months or Bret Easton Ellis weeks. I don’
t read these but give me Dumas or something from the 18th century and I start speaking and writing differently.
15. You take found books home like abandoned puppies, chirping, “Can we keep it?!” That’d be well and good if it didn’t happen once a day. No. Junk.
16. One does not simply walk by a bookstore. One must poke around, at the very least, and one usually ends up filling one’s tote bag with more books than one can carry. Frankly I dare not go in, but am in heaven when I allow it.
17. “I don’t read” is a relationship death knell, akin to “I loathe my mother” or “I enjoy upsetting kittens.” I hate it hear it, yes I do. We’ve had a few repair people in recently and they seemed intimidated by my overflowing bookshelves and seemed compelled to let me know they don’t read.
18. You may or may not own two (or three or four) copies of a beloved book. You can’t help it, the redesigned covers are irresistible! Oz and Potter, yes indeed.
19. Laundry day and other important obligations get completely overlooked when you’re in the middle of a great, un-put-downable book. “Same shirt Saturday”? Sorry you’re not sorry. Ha! Today is laundry day and I’m reading between loads. Ms. Multi-tasker. Book group in the morning!